What the Hell is That?... Part 1

We've all heard of such things as the Dirty Sanchez or the Donkey Punch. Like Amy Schumer says none of these ever starts with "You treat her to a really nice night with a lot of respect...." Now you've been warned! Here are a few more in case you had never heard of these!

Double Houdini

While double teaming a girl with a buddy, have one guy do her in the vag or ass while the other receives a hummer. Have the guy in the back tell her he is going to blow and then spit on her back. When she turns around, give her the facial of her life. Then when she turns around to face the front again, the guy in the front blows it in her face for a second facial.

 

Hot Lunch

While receiving head from a woman, you proceed to shit on her chest. (A.k.a. the Cleveland Steamer)

The Stranger

Sitting on your hand until it falls asleep and then jerking off, eliciting the feeling of a hand job from someone else.

Western Grip

When jerking off, turn your hand around, so that your thumb is facing towards you. It is the same grip that rodeo folks use. Hence, western.

The Blumpkin
You need to find a real tramp to do this right. It involves having her sucking you off while you are on the shitter.

Donkey Punch

Banging a girl doggy style and then moments before you cum, sticking your dick in her ass, and then punching her in the back of the head. This gives a tremendous sensation, but for it to work correctly,

the girl must be knocked out so that her asshole tightens up.

Golden Shower

Any form of pissing all over a chick (a.k.a.- watersports)

Pearl Necklace
Well known. Whenever you cum on the neck/cleavage area of a girl - it takes on the look of beautiful jewelry.

Coyote Ugly
This occurs when you wake up in the room of a nasty wombat and you know you've got to give her the slip. However, you realize that your arm is wrapped around her. Therefore you must gnaw off your own arm to get out of the situation. Can be very painful.

Purple Mushroom
This occurs when a woman is giving you oral sex and you withdraw your penis in order to poke it back into her cheek. It should leave a lasting impression similar to purple mushroom.

The Flying Camel
A personal favorite. As she is lying on her back and you are hammering her from your knees, you carefully balance yourself without using your arms to prop yourself up. You then proceed to flap your arms and let out a long, shrieking howl, much like a coyote. Strictly a class move.

Fishhook
A variation of the shocker in which you pull back towards the pussy after you stick your finger up her ass.

Strawberry Shortcake
The action in which the male ejaculates on his partner's face, and then the male punches his partner's nose, which causes blood to stream forth. The semen and blood fluids create a red and white image, just like the icing and filling of a strawberry shortcake.

The Ram
Again, you're attacking from behind, when you start ramming her head against the wall in a rhythmic motion. The force of the wall should allow for deeper penetration. Very handy for those lulls in penile sensitivity.

Bismarck
This is another one involving oral sex. Right before you are about to cum, you pull out, shooting your load all over her face. Follow that with a punch and smear the blood and cum together.

Jelly Doughnut
A derivation of the Bismarck. All you have to do is punch her in the nose while you are getting head.

The Woody Woodpecker
When a girl is sucking on your balls, tap the head of your cock on her forehead.

Dog in a Bathtub
This is a proper name for when you attempt to insert your nuts into a girl's ass. It is so named because it can be just as hard as keeping a dog in the tub while giving it a bath.

The Bucking Bronco
An all time classic. You start by going doggy style on a girl and then just when she is really enjoying it, you grab onto her tits or hips as tightly as possible and call her a big fat no-good worthless slob. More than likely, she will try to escape. This will give you the feeling of riding a bronco as she tries to buck you off.

Pink glove
This frequently happens during sex when a girl is not wet enough. When you pull out to give her the money shot, the inside of her twat sticks to your hog. Thus, the pink glove.

The Fountain of You
While sitting on her face and having her eat your ass, jerk off like a madman. Build up as much pressure as possible before releasing, spewing like a venerable geyser all over her face, neck and tits. (Better in her bed).

New York Style Taco
Anytime when you are so drunk that when you go down, you boot on her box. Happy trails.

The Dirty Sanchez
A time honored event in which while laying the bone doggie style, you insert Your finger into said woman's asshole, pull it out, wipe it across her upper lip leaving a thin, shit moustache. This makes her look like someone whose name would be Dirty Sanchez.

The Fish Eye
From behind, you shove your finger in her ass (or his if you are in prison). Thereupon she turns around in a one-eyed winking motion to see what the hell you are doing.

Tuna Melt
You're down on a chick lapping away and discover that it just happens to be the time of the month. By no means do you stop though. When the whale spews, tartar sauce with a hint of raspberry

smothers your face.

Fur Ball
You're chomping away at some mighty trollop who has a mane between her legs the size of Lionel Richie's Afro, when a mammoth fur ball gets lodged in your throat and causes you to beat the piss out of her.

The Chili Dog
You take a shit on a girl's tits and then proceed to titty fuck her.

Gaylord Perry
Going to only one knuckle during an anal probe is for wimps. Make this famous knuckle ball pitcher proud and use multiple knuckles on that virgin corn hole. A minimum of two knuckles required (either on one finger or on multiple).

Rear Admiral
An absolute blast. When getting a chic from behind (while both partners standing), make sure you don't let her grab on to anything when she is bent over. Then, drive your hips into her backside

so that you end up pushing her forward. The goal is to push her into a wall or table. It's almost as much fun to have her trip on her face on the floor. You become an Admiral when you can push her around the room without crashing into anything and not using your hands to grab onto her hips.

Glass Bottom Boat
Putting saran wrap over your partners face and proceeding to lay a hot shit there.

Ray-Bans
Put your testicles over her eye sockets while getting head. (Picture it: ass on forehead) It may be anatomically impossible, but it is definitely worth a try.

Snowmobile
Always a blast. When getting a girl while she's on all fours, sweep out her arms so she falls on her face.

Dutch Oven 

Rather simple. Whenever you bust ass while in the sack pull the covers over both of your head so she can enjoy your pork and beans as well.

 

Pokémon goo

When a person ejaculates while playing the game "Pokémon go." This usually occurs near spawn points of legendary/rare Pokémon.

 

Hot Carl/Karl

A Hot Carl is the act of defecating on someone's face. A Warm Carl is defecating on their face whilst covered by plastic wrap. A Cold Carl is defecating on a glass table while someone lies below 

Boston Pancake
When a lover defecates on another lovers chest. WITH PERMISSION. Then pats down the feces with his buttocks to make it into a flat surface. Then the man ejaculates on the feces which acts as the syrup.

 

Angry Bird

When one person shakes their sexual partner repeatedly until their partner reaches an orgasm.

 

Dirty Pirate

When a girl is giving you head, you bust in her eye and then kick her in the shins so she hops around with one eye open.

 

Starfish sex

Sex where the girl's arms and legs are spread as far apart as possible, like a starfish. Legs open wide, arms out, and a very bored look on her face as she rolls her eyes and waits for the guy to be done.

That's  all for now...