How to Talk to Your Signifigant Other About Swinging

One of the questions I see a lot on lifestyle forums is “How to get my partner to swing?” or “How do I get my spouse into wife sharing” so I thought I would tackle that subject in this post.
Although the question is mainly asked by men wanting their wife to swing with them it isn’t exclusively that way.
I believe the below applies to all people who want to swing with their partners but I am going to talk about the subject from the viewpoint of a husband wanting to get his wife interested in swinging.

It’s all in the question

I can usually tell how a person is approaching things by the way they phrase the question in forums and I get frustrated when I see the question phrased “How can I convince my wife to swing” or “How can I make my wife swing”.
I feel the person asking is thinking of it the wrong way and doesn’t stand a chance of introducing their partner to swinging without a struggle.

They are talking like they feel their partner needs to be forced/tricked into it or told to do for them. You need to introduce swinging to your partner by encouraging her to have an open mind and emphasizing the benefits and all the fun bits. Also if you acknowledge that you know there are pitfalls you will show that you have thought about the problems and have some plans in mind on how you are going to avoid or at least lessen the chances of the problems arising.

How to approach the Subject

I don’t think there is an approach guaranteed to work, and I think when first approached there is nearly always going to be a step back while the other person thinks about it, unless it turns out that they have been considering bringing the subject up themselves.
However there are ways of approaching the subject of swinging that shouldn’t rock the relationship too much. Sounding out. I feel you should always get a feel on your spouse’s opinion on swinging in general first to see if they have any moral issues or practical queries towards swinging.
Draw their attention to a news article on a swinging couple or a TV series just to gauge where they stand on swinging without suggesting that you join the swinging community.
If you and your partner watch porn together, maybe look up a site that has videos of swinging parties as a change from your normal favorite naughty videos.
If they react with interest and don’t seem to have any issues with swinging in general I think you stand a good chance of introducing the subject as something you would like to look into as a couple and being successful.
If they have any kind of moral issue you have a harder task ahead and I think that goes beyond the scope of this article as sometimes moral values run deep, there are just some people who would never see swinging as anything less than cheating and wrong.

• Introducing the idea. Next step is to introduce the idea of swinging as something you want to do with your partner as a couple. This can be tricky even if there are no issues with the concept of swinging as it now something that might happen in real life.
  One option is to point out a nice looking couple while you are out one night and start  discussing and fantasizing what it would be like to have sex with them.
  This will open up the discussion and will let her think about the prospect for a while with an actual picture of what it is like without putting pressure on her to commit to joining in with swinging.

Common issues & why should not be an obstacle

• Jealousy: I’m going to put worrying about being jealous as the first on the list as not only is it a common issue, but it is often a huge block on the road to swinging and hard to get around.
  Yes there might be that odd fleeting feeling, but if both of you are playing and having fun, you will be too busy enjoying yourself to let the thought take hold and I haven’t felt anything that hasn’t passed by the time the play date is over.
  You go home with your partner and nothing has changed, the more this happens the more you realize that jealousy isn’t going to be a big problem for you.

• Feeling inadequate: Another common issue I have heard is the feeling that you are not enough when your partner has suggested swinging.
  You can help sort out any fears by showing and demonstrating regularly over time that you still find your partner the sexiest and most attractive and don’t forget to play with each other as well as the other couples when on swinging dates, that way it is more likely to feel like it is something you are doing together as a couple instead of something you do and they do separately.

• Easy way to look for someone else: Another common issue I have heard is that they feel their partner wants to use swinging as a way to find someone else and will leave them as soon as they have.
  Again all you can do here is show how much you love your partner and how they are the most important person to you and stress that it is not the reason for wanting to swing/wife share it is something that you have to show and let your partner feel.

• Feeling disloyal: I have also heard, from women, that one of the issues they have is that they feel wrong thinking about men other than their husbands in a sexual way.
  You are not being disloyal or cheating as your other half is in the same room as you, totally aware of what you are doing and up to fun stuff themselves.

• Being outed: We know a few couples who are worried about being seen by friends/family or work college.
  Even to the extent they only want to meet travelling couples or expats, as they feel this minimizes the risk of meeting someone they know.
  The way I see it is if they are at a party you are at, then they are swingers as well, so firstly will probably be open minded enough not to feel too shocked to see you there, and secondly probably won’t want the fact that they are swingers themselves broadcasted.
  It is unlikely to go any further and will probably only be awkward for the first 10 minutes or so while you get around the ‘oh fancy seeing you here."

 

Now use this information for good and not too much evil...

Get out there as a team and start sinning!

* Courtesy of Swingingforfun.com